Finding Hope: Beth Moore Talks Marriage and Experiencing Childhood Abuse
living proof with Beth Moore is sponsored by life way and the friends and partners of living proof ministries the catastrophe of manhood every segment of our society if you’re not serving in the kingdom then you’re really not a servant of Christ we’re going to build the Kingdom of Heaven or the kingdom of this earth we have to choose which one we’re going to fit in and which one we’re going to do I think the biggest challenge we have has been a man of God today is so far off society’s norm understand why we’re waiting on God dogs waiting going up he’s waiting on us to step up we own this we own the responsibility of calling a culture in decline back calling me back did you hear what the man said hey everybody I am so excited to be able to invite you into a brand new two-part series that’s going to take us a little bit off road from our usual format this one is called let’s talk family for these next two programs you have the invitation to come in on a Q & A that I’m getting to do with my good friend dr. Russell Moore who is the president of the ER LC we’re at a family conference and we’re talking about all sorts of things marriage family kids and just trying to maintain some godly integrity in a really really hard and cold world I got to tell you something I don’t know what questions are coming until he asked me so this is what you can know it’s about to get real and not only are we gonna have a good time I think maybe somebody might find a little help in what we’ve got to share I so hope you’ll tune in stay with us for a really really fun maybe interesting and intriguing series see you there [Music] imagine bet that you could get in a time machine and go back and talk to 20 year old Beth Moore in Arkansas and say I want to give you some advice and counsel about family and as you’re thinking through family here are some things that you need to know that that you don’t know yet maybe you think you do but you don’t what sort of things you know I would hug her so tight because I’d be thinking girlfriend you got no idea what you got kind of you got no idea what’s coming but I tell you what I would tell her and it’s not a long list it’s it’s one thing and this is not hyper spiritualizing this is it it’s all I got it is all I’ve got and that is it I would say girl you hold to Jesus as tight as you can and he is going to get you through he is going to get you through and you’re going to think you’re not going to make it but he is going to get you through and everything that comes up it will still be that same thing for me and all the varied circumstances for us it’s still come back to that same thing holding on to Jesus for dear life I was just telling people online this morning I’m 61 years old and I can remember being in my early 20s and wandering being a little intimidating I’m a little intimidated by the learning process I was just beginning to awaken to the study of scripture and I remember thinking I wonder if years from now when the world gets bigger and I know more about it I don’t know will it turn out that there were more answers than this but from here looking back over my shoulder and looking in the world me no there this world’s got nothing going like Jesus nothing he’s it he’s it and truly that would be it hold on to him with everything you’ve got because you don’t know the wonders that you have ahead you don’t know some of the horrors that you have ahead and the heartbreak and the and the joys but he will be your stay your hope and stay that’s as simplistic as I as it sounds that’s what I tell her hold on girl hmm I imagine there might be some people who are at a conference like this or watching on the livestream who might assume that in your home that everything just sort of in the morning everyone always got up and sang hymns to themselves and you sort of followed your five little steps and everything just just just went right according to plan and so they’re saying okay well what I want to know is what are the lists of steps that we need to do to implement that is that how things rolled for y’all it could not be further from it could not be further from it I was sitting there last night listening to the panel and the speakers and I was enjoying it so much and I was reliving I would glance over my shoulder every now and then and look at many of you and see a lot of young couples and I was thinking oh wow I remember being in these situations where I was at a marriage conference and I would think to myself wow I felt like our component we had such complexity inside our home that I would just I would long to hear somebody speak to what if it seems like none of it works the way that the steps were supposed to go what if for whatever reason there’s all sorts of extenuating circumstances and it makes it a very complex situation I want to tell you a little bit I’m gonna put this in a nutshell for you but this is gonna be for somebody I told Russ a few minutes ago before we came acid you know I this is what Keith and I have to bring to the mix when we are able to say to somebody in here listen we have had a hard time a hard time I’ll tell you a couple of the reasons why but I will also tell you because of Jesus in two months we will celebrate 40 years of marriage and I do mean four oh we we came from so much hurt and brokenness we were both in long-term relationships with compatible people and we met and I mean it was just over for us we were we were married 14 months later and we just we moved all of this baggage I’m a big believer that baggage attracts baggage and if you can tell me your spouse has a lot of baggage I’m probably gonna ask you to tell me about yours because I’m already gonna know something attracted it together and I really do think he and I picked out one another across campus and you know other people would have thought I was president of my sorority he was president of his fraternity that that would have been it we were just like no no we went after each other’s brokenness and brought it all into one home I come from a background of childhood sexual abuse he comes from a background rust of tragedy full-on calamity from a house fire when he was two and as little and his older brother was almost four and his older brother burned to death and when I tell you that keith has severe PTSD severe and the things that go with it which are if you’ve ever read anything about it the nightmares I can remember coming home from our honeymoon after our honeymoon for the first week it was probably the second or third night we were in our little where we were living in our little I’m in our little place and during the night he stood up in the bed and yelled at the top of his lungs and I mean I’ll never forget that moment because it was the moment that I went this this may be a wild wild marriage and I didn’t know the half of it and just a lot of the torment and and depression and attachment disorder and all the things that go with it and so we’ve navigated that took me a long time Russ to work through the things that had been broken in in me but what what I can tell you is that we found and are finding our way and so those the steps didn’t work but Jesus did and I need somebody to hear that listen when the steps weren’t work the steps but our life was so so complex and so complicated that a lot for instance one of the things that I have to give to the women I hope who were wives that are listening to us is that I was in a situation where teeth Russ was not coming in with the same view toward church so he fully said he fully supported what I had been called to do and I say that to his great credit to this day I told him when he asked me to marry him I said I’m gonna work for Jesus and he said well what are you gonna do I said I do not know and he said are you going to be a nun which I found so interesting because we’ve been kissing for about the last hour and I you know he comes from a Catholic background he was like well she’s got a calling she’s a woman she’s gonna be a nun and I said no no I am NOT going to be a 90 City if you’re not going to be a nun I can handle anything else anything else we need a time machine for him we really do we really do and so here it’s so so he did we he has supported it constantly but he went to church when he wanted to and when he didn’t want to he went fishing he just you know there was you just couldn’t last on him and control him and I just it was quite the shocked because I if I could have pulled off listen I would be teaching marriage seminars everywhere I think back what I would be like if it had all worked out for me the way that I pictured it was going to but it didn’t but what I can tell you is we flat out made it and are making it on Jesus Christ and so we navigated all of that we didn’t have devotionals and home you know we we don’t didn’t have all of that component but but I could talk a lot of Jesus to those girls and so that’s what we did living proof is committed to biblical literacy we know you’ll find encouragement for living in the pages of your Bible so we’re pleased that the good folks at life we would like to encourage you to consider children of the day for your next Bible study Beth Moore’s in-depth series is a verse by verse look at 1st and 2nd Thessalonians it’s a great choice for anyone searching for the hope that Jesus offers in the midst of life’s struggle these letters of Paul speak words of encouragement in times of hardship and remind us of the great hope of Jesus future return visit our website and find this special offer right now you can purchase the children of the day study workbook and the complete teaching on CD for only $20 this offer is available for a limited time so order now and consider all the ways you can hear more learn more and engage more with the living proof family by visiting Beth morg /tv today [Music] got a little joy on him today we’re gonna lift it up and let the name of Jesus go forth in this place in such power and in such presence we are so so thrilled to be with you and I think what God’s gonna remind us up today is that we’re in the middle of the story do you not think that he’s gonna tie up every thread where you are concerned that Hughes started the plan knows how to end it we’re gonna get some confidence in him today in his ability to always bring something to a good finish can somebody say hallelujah there’s nothing no sin that exceeds the power of the cross thank you God the past couple days we’ve had a group of key women leaders ministry from all sorts of age groups and places and whatever and we were having a lot conversation about a lot of issues but at one point one of the women in the room said to me so I think that some of you men in ministry have been really kind of sucker-punched over the last a couple years or so with some of the revelations that have come out about sexual abuse and sexual assault and just seems to be and every time you every time you turn on the news it’s somewhere yes in American life they said I think some of you have just been really gut-punched yes and shocked she said none of us are and I looked around the room and every woman in the room no matter what age no matter what kind of church no matter what we’re all nodding their head she’s exactly right what should the church do when it comes to the way that women are treated in American life and in global life what should the church be doing not only to to stop this stuff from happening but also to minister to women and girls who have been through this kind of horror and who are who are thinking if I talk about this in the church I’m going to be rejected yes yes I will tell you what I feel with all of my heart because I know that we’re in such a messy era where it seems like nothing good is happening but rust that’s not true the fact that this is coming out it’s very messy right now but the fact that we are having to deal with it is a good good thing and we we who are willing we are willing we’ll all be better on the other side the church will be stronger on the other side I think that if I could put it in a nutshell I am so thankful that what we are told in the New Testament is that everything that God is doing in us that once we are saved that then the process for us becomes by work of the Holy Spirit to conform us into the image of Christ so what that means is that what we do over and over again is we’re looking back at the life of Christ at everything we know about him prophetically from the Old Testament and then how he was in the Gospels how he acted how he interacted what his role was regarding women the dignity that he gave him and then what we see throughout the New Testament and what were called to do is emulate that is to imitate that that that when we say the word Christian we understand that what what we’re after is Christ’s likeness so what we do is we’re gonna go back to those Gospels over and over again what did he do he pointed out when there was oppression he did not denied he didn’t look away from he gave women dignity he knew he knew how they had been broken he didn’t say it wasn’t based on whether or not they earned the right to be treated with dignity he treated the woman who was caught in adultery he treated her with dignity I want to tell you one thing rose because I know we’re running out of time but I want to say this I think this is so profound and I think it’s a wonderful way to kind of leave a picture in our mind I’ve been so long intrigued about why Jesus wrote in the dirt with that woman standing there when he’s looking up at the man and going listen to one of you that has no sin go ahead just cast the first stone and I realize not long ago I’ve been asked the wrong question it was not what was he writing because I could fixate on that all day long what was he writing with his finger on the ground it was why was he writing why and I think he was diverting the attention of shameful eyes on that woman he was diverting that attention it was like down here eyes down here gentleman down here because there’s no telling what state of undress she might have been in over and over inviting Mary of Bethany she got to be in the Bible class I tell women all the time I said when we get together for for an event and we get to open our Bibles together in this country and just be like like loud and and obvious about Jesus and I’m on Jesus he revolutionized the classroom for women we we weren’t just he he was like Martha why are you stuck in the kitchen when you I mean like cook and advance then come to class I mean I want Martha to cook but come into class sit at my feet and that I all we have to do is look at him how did he act how did he treat them let’s do the same and listen it’s good for both genders I love what we’ve heard said a lot over the last year which is that when I’m each gender flourishes both flourish you know I think there might be I’ve cuz I’ve heard this so many times I know you have to there might be somebody maybe in here or maybe watching on the livestream who has been through some awful awful kind of abuse or assault and who will say I’m just too broken now too messed up to be able to really serve the Lord you and I know that’s not true but what would you say to that person that’s exactly this what happened for me I it was not the joy of the Lord for me to go through what I went through as a child but in his sovereignty he allowed it and I’m gonna tell you what happened to me because of the difficulty of my background gray has never worked for me it just I don’t I can’t do that I don’t do I just can’t I had to be all-in with Jesus or I was not gonna make it I wasn’t gonna make it and so because I was too desperate to do it any other way I just I lived on him and survived on him and then you thrived on him and that’s what I can tell him when I went when I look around that the gift is desperation however it comes not what happened to me was not good the desperation that it caused in me that I would have to have my mind I memorized scripture so that my mind could be renewed well every day I’ve benefit from that those words live in my bones but one of the things I want to say to you if this is your if this is your story if it’s similar to mine I’ve looked around me over the last year even as recently as last weekend serving Native American women in Arizona and you know you think why these things happen to me I would change my story in a heartbeat but I get to say to them you know what I know jesus heals I know his word renews minds I know his way works I know that you can really know the truth and that the truth will set you free listen I buy it completely because I’ve lived off of it and I realize for such a time as this I come from this background I’ll have people go why don’t you heal up I have healed up but a whole lot of women have not and as long as they haven’t as long as there’s an eight-year-old little girl out there and eight-year-old little boy that has been abused and needs some hope I’m not gonna act like it didn’t happen to me I’m gonna go you know what I’ve been through it too and I know you can make it on Jesus I know you can I know you can make it listen it is no coincidence that you’re on the other side of that screen for this particular program whether it is for you personally or for you to have hope for someone you know who has been through something like I’ve been through one in three women have suffered from some kind of sexual abuse I want you to know that there is help and I want you to know that there is help in Christ I’ve been poring over the pages of the Gospel of Luke and been reminded of so many times that he healed and I want you to be thinking about this that Jesus raised a twelve-year-old little girl from the dead that a woman who had been hemorrhaging for 12 solid years simply reached out and touched the hem of His garment and she was healed there is another woman who was bent over could not straighten up and she was healed of her infirmity and her back straightened and her chin held high I thought so many times as I’ve read that passage I know what it’s like not to be able to straighten up anybody know what I’m talking about and Jesus came along in my life and began to put me back together again and teach me his word in these same pages of the Gospel of Luke it refers to Mary Magdalene from whom he cast out seven demons there is nothing that Jesus cannot do and there is no one on the planet that he loves more than you I want to give you an assignment I want to challenge you would you start reading over the Gospel of Luke would you watch Jesus and his compassion would you watch him in action of healing how he’s taking one broken life after another and putting it back together again how he rebuilds how he shows himself faithful how much he cares I don’t know what your road looks like but I know this your God wants you to flourish he wants you to thrive it is to your father’s glory that your life bear much fruit to show yourself to be one of Christ’s disciples and to bring much much glory to your father in heaven he wants your life to be wildly productive and abundant of spirit so step into that I don’t know what your path will look like for me it was a lot of Bible study it was getting my head in the scripture so that my mind could be renewed according to the knowledge of God and it was also seeking godly counsel and not just a few times I went for matters of months so that I could really delve into the hurts and and the areas of brokenness that had happened in my life and have a safe place to talk it through I’m praying for that for you that God will show you exactly the Avenue where you have someone safe that you can talk to someone that knows what they’re doing that God has positioned in place to bring some real counsel to your life at exactly this time would you allow me to pray for you before we end today’s program Lord I lift up my beloved sibling to you on the other side of that screen or perhaps someone who does not know you at all whoever it may be father I believe that you are reaching out right now and reminding them father if they’ve known it before and forgotten it that you are a healer maybe introducing yourself for the first time to someone as the God who comes and transforms lives would you father set their paths straight where they know how to get the help that they need give them wisdom give them insight would you awaken them to a love for your word and would you renew their minds father and put their hearts back together where they’ve been broken God how we thank you that you are the miracle worker that Jesus is the same yesterday today and forever and he is still a healer and we need you so we pray these things in the beautiful and perfect name of Jesus men thank you so much for joining me today please come back next week for part two of our series let’s talk family we’ll get back into the interview with my friend dr. Russell Moore and we’re gonna start talking about parenting you’re not going to want to miss it see you then the catastrophe of manhood has reached every segment of our society if you’re not serving in the commune then you’re really not a servant of Christ we’re going to build the Kingdom of Heaven or the kingdom of this earth we have to choose which one we’re going to fit in and which one we’re going to do I think the biggest challenge we have has been a man of God today the so far off society’s norm understand while we’re waiting on God dogs waiting going up he’s waiting on us to step up we own this we own the responsibility of calling a culture in decline back calling him back did you hear what the man said living proof would like to send you a thank-you gift for your donation
Beth Moore Moore is interviewed by Dr. Russell Moore on her personal story of marriage and finding hope after her childhood abuse
Living Proof Ministries is dedicated to encouraging people to come to know and love Jesus Christ through the study of Scripture.
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