Overcoming Addiction: How Singer Michelle Titian Recovered from Alcoholism and Depression

for so many of us there are times in our lives when we feel absolutely stuck in destructive patterns habits or even addictions you know that feeling that you can’t escape it happens to all of us but it’s not true and if that’s you you need to watch this interview today Michelle tition welcome thank you for having me so you are a Canadian singer-songwriter you have a new album coming out in 2020 called drive a lot of what you wrote into those songs has to do with your own life and your own struggles tell me a little bit about how that came into your music well for years I struggled with depression and in alcoholism and basically it wasn’t until I was able to be honest with myself that I was able to then finally ask for help my music was spiraling down downhill pretty much when I was actively drinking and it really it really started to take it it was just a negative negative part of my life I guess you know but I found like in sobriety I started writing music again and and then that’s where the song the song drive basically came from it’s about my recovery and and even in the lyrics like I talked about you know surrendering surrendering to to the truth and I wasn’t able to to stay stopped from from alcohol until I surrendered to the truth but I had a problem you know what I mean so yeah like it’s it’s been it’s been quite the journey I’m currently going on five and a half years of sobriety and yeah thanks so much has happened and I’m just so grateful to literally be alive at this point you know and you know for you alcoholism and depression were kind of two separate things but that playing off of each other tell me how they kind of feed into each other in a sense well I think for me at such a young age high school I started experimenting with with drugs and alcohol and and I was suffering very bad with depression and that’s when it kind of started so from there it just it it seems the older I got the worse it got you know what I mean until I had to thankfully be in a place of complete desperation where I was able to to surrender to God and and say I give and there had it was almost like there had been this weight on me my entire life and then when I was finally able to be honest with myself I don’t know I I remember not sleeping that night and just sitting on my front porch and staying up all night and I kind of just I said okay I give I surrender I will do whatever it takes to to get better you know so I went into a 12-step program and I saw people without were happy and I wanted what they had and and they had you know a couple years of sobriety and I figured like if they can do it they must they must be doing something right I I’m gonna I got to do this I’m gonna give every you know all I’ve got and and try and get this because I was in such a dark place where I just literally did not want to be here anymore you know so hard five and a half years of sobriety congratulations are you amazing yeah and you know this this god factor you know a lot of 12-step programs talk about a higher power we would define that of course as God yes you’ve had a faith God since you were a little girl but where was God during those drinking years did he feel very far away to you at that point I believe that what I’ve been taught like in in the 12-step program that there’s four things that block us from God one is fear resentment selfishness and dishonesty and because I had been lying to myself for so many years and I was in complete denial it was blocking me from God and it was like when I finally surrendered to the truth that I have a problem and I was like I’m gonna do whatever it takes to recover it was like this weight had been lifted off of me and I literally had a hard time sleeping for about two weeks like I don’t know I just felt so incredibly energized and like it was it was remarkable you know how significant do you think involving that higher power inviting God into your situation is to your recovery Oh huge like every morning I wake up and I’m on my knees and I pray and I surrender to God’s well and the way I look at it now is my life is none of my business and is God will provide where where he wants me to be and sometimes I don’t like it but I accept it and sometimes I don’t know what the reason is but but I I find myself now trying to be in a continuous state of gratitude where I’m constantly just feeling grateful even when I’m in physical pain sometimes and just like you know I I am alive like there’s a reason why I’m here there had been so many times where when when I was drinking where I’d gone out and and literally I because when I drank I would I would black out and fall and I’d been hospitalized and I wonder how how am I still alive you know like how I’m why am I here you know God chose me to still be here which is you know I didn’t remove myself from from alcohol God gets all the glory but it was it was God one of the things I love about you is that you didn’t just get better and go into recovery but you our passion about helping other people who are suffering from mental illness be stigmatizing that helping people dealing with an addiction tell me about what you’re doing so we’ve recently just started the DRI foundation and it’s still it’s still in working progress so right now we’re just concentrating on trying to raise funds to support the programs that we we want to we want to do and help people and I believe that it is my purpose on this earth to to help others and that’s it I believe that that is why we’re here you know to help others that are suffering and I was suffering at one point and I’ve recovered now so I turn around and I’m gonna help the ones that ever that are suffering and and pull them out and try and help them recover and almost like you know a domino effect where you know let’s pull them pull them out of the trenches and and try try and recover you know if you could do it and so yeah I mean yeah I was literally in a place where it was it was very dark and and it was it was such a bad time of my life and I found the older that I got the the worse it got you know and then I would abstain from from drinking for a while and then when I went back out it was it was just ten times worse and every time I would try and stop and then I’d be like okay I can do some controlled drinking and it just was never ever the case you know yeah you are a testimony to one of my favorite scenes which is that your today is not your forever and I think when your today is very dark it’s very hard to see that there could ever be a different day for you right but we have people on the show every day with stories like yours who are like know things can change and I know that you’re giving so many people hope today you’ve done a special a 90-minute special with the STP that is also part of this whole initiative tell me about that oh wow so I’m so excited too I know I’m just grateful and blessed to to have been able to tell my story from the time I was a teenager struggling with depression to my 20s where I was like addicted – you know just toxic relationships and then in my 30s where it just it started my drinking just got out of control and and to be able to to tell my story and and have that the production is unbelievable and everyone at yes TV has been so amazing and supportive it’s just been a dream come true really like it I feel so blessed you know just you know want to cheer you on and the work that you’re doing because we need hope all of us need hope all of us need to know that change is possible that hope is possible that God is real those are all the elements of your story thank you so much for coming to share it with us today and if you’re saying well we’re that 90 minute documentary with Michelle well I’m here to tell you you can watch it on our Castle platform it is airing at different times so yes TV so you can check your local listings but also we can stream it you can stream it on CASL and if you haven’t signed up for that already you can go to into the castle comm and find out more how to sign up and how to watch this amazing 90-minute documentary we’ll be right back hey youtube fans we are adding new stories just like the one you’re watching right now every single day so if you haven’t already take a second hit that subscribe button