Victory Tulsa Church Channel | Pastors Paul and Ashley Daugherty – Tulsa, OK
Elevate Christian Network :: Ministry Outreach TV
[Music] well we have been talking about fear we are in a series called fear Inc and if fear was a business it would be the biggest business out there billions of dollars are spent from the idea of fear every year billions of dollars of spit decisions are made based out of fear there’s so many insurance policies out there of the what-ifs that could go wrong in your life and and so many of us are driven by this but our job during this series and not just during this series but as a church is to put fear out of business in your life we want to put fear out of business the fear of spiders the fear of snakes the fear of death the fear of terrorism the fear of failure the fear of risk we want to put it out of business cuz it’s time for you to get that out of your mind come on how many y’all ready to get fear out of your life out of your mind your time we think you’re serving an eviction notice on fear has been written too much space up but you know we’ve talked about the fear of lack we’ve talked about the fear of failure we’ve talked about some different fears today I want to hit on a fear that’s a universal fear out there and it’s a fear that brings a whole lot of hurt around our world it’s not just a fear in America it’s not just a fear that young people have or older people have it’s not just a fear that poor people have or rich people have it’s a fear that spreads across all generations all classes all economic classes all nations and today we’re gonna put it out of business y’all ready okay go with me to proverbs 29 verse 25 yes proverbs 29 verse 25 I’m talking about the fear of man the fear of man and this is what proverbs 29 says it says fearing people is a dangerous trap one version says the fear of man is a snare to your soul but trusting in the Lord brings safety trusting and God brings security the medicine the antidote to put fear of man out of business in your life is choosing to trust in God completely that his approval of your life is bigger and better than the approval of everybody else come on that’s a good place to say Amen right there so for me this has been an ongoing battle in my life that I’ve constantly had to come back to and surrender to God at a young age I mean all throughout my life there’s been moments and stories where I could look back and go that was the fear of man it was controlling me it was driving me it was holding me captive I’ll never forget when I first put my sermons on YouTube and when we started putting our messages out on TV and by the way on TV you can find out your approval ratings that’s what they call it your approval ratings you can find out how many people are watching your show on TV at what point they change the channel how long they stayed on your show then you start asking these questions why did they change the channel right there did I say something wrong did I do something wrong why don’t they like me well for me it wasn’t that big of a deal and you know when I put it on YouTube I thought I hope some people watch you know my sermon it’d be cool a few people did and people started watching it and that was exciting and then when I looked on the YouTube actual page I saw this one part on the page that I zoomed in on and it’s the part where people can give you a thumbs up or a thumbs down about your video come on how many all know what I’m talking about right there didn’t really matter to me until I saw two thumbs down and I was like what did I do wrong I was preaching the Bible I used a lot of scriptures did I use the wrong speech to tell the wrong stories did I wear the wrong clothes was my hair not done right did it was it combed to the wrong side and then I started looking for who gave me the thumbs down and it’s anonymous you can’t find out so I’m like looking like how do I find out who the thumbs-down people were hey you know I want to know who they were I’m gonna go to their house and try to find out why didn’t you like me why don’t you like what I’m creeps you know then there’s this addiction to approval when you’re living with the fear of man in fact if you ever watch the Olympics or like people and gym gymnasts you know they get up on the beam and I hope I don’t hurt myself but you know they get up there and they’re on the beam right and I think this is like life this is life you get up on the beam and you’re excited to try something new you’re excited to step out take a risk starts at a young age even as boys and girls at recess are introducing themselves trying to find friends who’s gonna be my friend Who am I gonna fit in with who’s gonna accept me or when you get into business and you got an idea and you want to share it with your boss but you’re afraid what if he rejects it or what if I witness there’s someone at my job and and then they look at me and I’m a Jesus Freak and they no longer want to have lunch with me or what if I start a connect group and nobody shows up to my connect group what if I lift my hands and worship and then the people around me think I’m a weirdo what if I go down to the altar call in front of everyone they’re gonna find out I have issues that I have problems and I need God’s help and so we live wondering what people are gonna think and you’re out on the beam and you’re kind of like I want to take a risk but I’m I’m hearing people whisper and people are watching me why is everybody looking at me and what are they saying and what are they not saying because sometimes silence speaks louder than words when you’re looking for someone’s compliment or their encouragement or their approval or their affirmation and they don’t give it you post something on Facebook and by the way social media doesn’t help with this right because now they give all kinds of options of what you can react to about someone’s post all right it’s no longer just the thumbs up now they got the heart emoji they got the smiley face emoji an emoji they got the oh my goodness emoji you know then they got the laughing at you what is that all about I don’t even understand like if you’re laughing at my are you laughing with me or laughing at me then they got the sad face emoji then they got the angry face emoji right and there’s this fear of what are people gonna say and if we’re not careful we’re on the beam of life we’re trying to be who God’s called us to be we’re trying to live without a fear of people but the more we start thinking about their opinions and their thoughts about us and their words we kind of get down we go okay all right I’m gonna play it safe I’m not gonna do anything that would cause people to reject me I’m just gonna hug the babe [Applause] hey there it’s safe right it’s safe to fear people it’s just a safe place and then you get to the end of your life and you got to step into eternity and so you’re like okay I got it son grip this thing and you get to heaven and you stand before God and God is up in heaven esight you didn’t you didn’t do anything you didn’t you didn’t risk you never witness to the people I called you you never started the connect group you never went down to the altar call you didn’t raise your hands you never shared your ideas you never started that business you never wrote that book because you were too afraid of everyone else’s opinions and you feared man and you got caught clinging to the beam of life that you lived under the control of what people would think or say or not say to you and see the fear of man is a snare and that word snare the Hebrew translation it actually means a trap for a bird and this is what hunters will do is though they’ll make these traps these man-made traps to actually catch birds but birds were born to fly they were born to soar so with the with the man is saying in proverbs 29 is you were born to soar you were born to live on the beam of life you were born to take risks to live for God’s approval but when you start fearing man you get caught in the snare and you get trapped from flying and trapped from soaring to be who God’s made you to be and maybe you’re here today and you say well fine I don’t really have a fear of people well there’s this book that could totally mess with you and if you want to be messed with then you should read this book and I’m not just talking about the Bible this is the best book you could read but there’s this book from a man named ed Welch and it’s called when people are big and God is small yeah the title alone just makes you go oh or another book that really changed my life was breaking the spirit of intimidation by John Bevere right or another book that changed my wife’s life by Joyce Meyer was breaking the approval addiction but there’s questions that are asked in these books that kind of help you uncover whether or not you have a fear of man in your life or a fear of woman a fear people and here’s the question do you often need something from others do you crave compliments are you ever afraid that you might be exposed as an impostor are you overly concerned with how you look how much you weigh how you are dressed do you think about your self worth or self esteem a lot do you often feel painfully unappreciated do you make excuses for your bad behavior do you justify your mistakes or shift the blame because you can’t handle the thought of failing in front of people do you show favoritism to certain people that you crave their approval are you over committed do you have a hard time saying no you’ve got to say yes to everyone because if you say no to someone you might let them down and to let them down is to lose their approval in your life and you can’t do that do you get easily embarrassed anybody get embarrassed sometimes all right half of us in the room the rest of you I’m gonna have you come up and preach right now on stage anybody ever get embarrassed sometimes yeah now more hands are going up don’t call on me pastor I don’t want you you know don’t give me the microphone gonna embarrass me but here’s the point the questions are all unraveling something here he goes on he says do you compare yourself to others and feel good when you win and feel envious when you lose and someone else wins when someone else gets which you didn’t get is this constant desire this constant this lust to be noticed and affirmed and approved and to matter in the eyes of people and what happens is it robs you from living with confidence and living with a secure foundation for a real self-esteem and self-image that’s only found in the creator of the universe right why why live for the approval of people on the earth that are here today and gone tomorrow when you can live from the approval of the creator of the cosmos who’s been here before you got here who’s gonna be around even after you’re gone that’s the kind of foundation we should stake our identity and see when we when we put too much emphasis on what people say about us or don’t say about us what they say to us or don’t say to us they think about us what they don’t think and some of us in this room we think people are thinking about us way too much let me just give you a real like answer here people don’t think about you all the time there’s no one in the world that thinks about you all the time some of you are like really it hurts but there is one who thinks about you all the time and he’s not a person on this earth it’s your father in heaven his thoughts of you outnumber the sands on the seashore and he thinks good of you he calls you his own he says you’re not an accident you are here on purpose because you have a purpose so Psalm 62 verse 9 says this that men and women high or low in other words rich or poor are all but a breath they’re a vapor they’re here today and gone tomorrow this is why we can’t stake our trust and security in people and what they’re gonna say Jeremiah 17 verse 5 says this cursed is the one who puts his trust in mere flesh curse it is the man who’s made man his God his Idol what he thinks or what he says over you some of us are living like this and it’s a cursed way to live Jeremiah says when you’re trying to draw strength or identity from them it says this person will be like a bush and the wastelands they will not see prosperity when it comes they will dwell in parched places of the desert in a salt land where no one lives in other words you live an unproductive life you cling to the beam of life when you live with the fear of people it’s unproductive and you stay right there and you never sore you never fly you never step out to be who God’s called you to be but look at the contrast watch this in verse 7 it says but blessed is the one who fears the Lord so the answer to beating the fear of man is switching to the fear of the Lord trusting in God blessed is the woman the man who trusts in the Lord whose confidence is completely found in God now let me just stop for a second because some of y’all I could tell you’re like okay this is for someone this is for you because God has called every single one of you to do something in this life God has not placed you on this earth as an accident to live an unproductive life God placed you here on purpose because you have a purpose but you will not fulfill that purpose until you place your complete confidence in him and some of us in this room there’s this there’s this fear of what if I let people down I remember when I first started preaching my mom gave me a pair of my dad’s shoes right after he passed away to remember my dad but I took it a step further I started wearing his shoes I started preaching on this stage with my dad’s shoes thinking if I’m wearing his shoes people will like me I’ll be more anointed I’ll have the Billy Joe shoes and 19 on me I’ll be able to do great altar calls like Billy Joe I’ll preach sermons like Billy Joe but see you were born an original don’t die as a copy and I can be a first-rate meat or I can be a second-rate Billy Joe but I’d rather be who God’s made me to be and someone came up to me and they said hey Paul I got you some new shoes they gave me some boots they said the shoes you’re wearing they looked good on your dad but they look bad on you I was like ouch what was he doing he was trying to set me free he said it’s time for you to start wearing your own shoes and I knew what that meant that meant it was time for me to start walking in the authentic me and to let the chips fall where they may but what if people don’t like the real me I had someone leave our church years you know a few years ago right when I stepped in his pastor and they said I just want you to know I’m leaving because I don’t like you just blunt I don’t like you and then I I made a mistake I asked the question what are you not like right because I was trying to figure out maybe I can solve this problem maybe I could be the version of me that you want me to be so that way you’ll like me maybe I could be the version of a pastor that you like which pastor you like Judah Smith Kenneth Copeland TD jakes Franklin I can copy anybody I could be a man maybe not a good copy but I could be a kind of a good copy of TD jakes I could try y’all like no don’t try that that’s not gonna go over good Paul but I asked him what do you want me to be and he said well you’re just too positive this guy said that you’re too positive you talk about our best days way too much and when he said it it hurt you know I’m a young person I’m sensitive and I’m taking it all personal and the fear of man starts crippling me in that moment right I start clinging to the beam okay what do you want me to be what do you want me to be okay not not positive and I said but it’s hard because that’s who I am at the core as a young boy I’ve always been positive I’ve always believed the best is yet to come to be pessimistic is to be completely opposite of Who I am at the core and honestly I struggled with it there were weeks cuz I asked him more questions what else do you not like and he started going down the list and so I had this list of the version of me that he wanted me to be and I had some weeks to think about it and this is why I say I’m a recovering whatever you want to call it free man from the fear of people but I constantly feel that temptation what what do I need to do to get people to like me the fear right and I started thinking maybe I need to change maybe I need to stop talking about our best days maybe I need to be more negative and talk about all the bad things that are happening in and you know they’re like no no because there’s a blessing on the authentic you there’s an anointing when you’re being who God’s made you to be there’s a freedom that comes when you stop see you almost have to get comfortable with the thumbs-down when I was watching the YouTube videos at first the thumbs-down freaked me out cuz I was like how do I get those thumbs to come over on the thumbs up side y’all are like what but I finally this was like you know what the gospel is getting out there that’s what matters people are getting saved and if people don’t like me no worries God likes me that’s what matters so I’m gonna stop living and then some people listen there’s a ditch on both sides there’s a ditch on both sides what what happens is when you’re living in the fear of man you’re on this ditch you’re your control by what people think you’re intimidated by what people are gonna say you’re intimidated by their opinion so you’re down here you’re shrinking back you’re given the lesser version of yourself you’re trying to play yourself down you’re trying to copy to be someone else that people want you to be and then you might go I know I’m breaking free of the fear man I’m done with the fear man and unintentionally you go to the total opposite side into this ditch and you’re like I don’t care what anybody says forget you I don’t care what anybody has to say I don’t care about their advice their wisdom and it’s a disregard for people it’s a disregard for God’s Word to disregard from so it’s like I’m gonna change myself I’m gonna define my gender I’m gonna define my sexuality I am who I want to be I’m free to be me and you’re not free you’re a slave to your flesh this is a ditch – there’s a ditch on both sides there’s a ditch of the fear of man and then there’s this ditch of the total opposite side that says I don’t care what anyone says even including God but so how do we how do we avoid both ditches we come back to the balance the middle the only answer is the fear of the Lord to fear God is the beginning of wisdom the fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge this is the pathway to real life this is where the boundaries exist to be the authentic you not to you that you think you’re supposed to be the free you to kind of define who you want to be outside of God’s Word it’s finding out who you really are by the Creator who created you the one who put the goods inside you not what people want you to be not what you want you to be but what God made you be come on up preach it I’m about to soar right here right now I believe I can fly come on somebody something something broken me though for real something has broke like the things are about to get wild up victory in a good way in a good way because in the last year God’s been so pulling the fear of man out of my heart just like doing the open-heart surgery and he’s like you don’t need them to be successful you don’t need their approval to be who God’s called you to be you don’t need I was under this fear and listen there were people that I if I was in a conversation with them I was so afraid that I was gonna say something stupid and then I would leave the conversation and I would rehearse it in my mind have you ever done that before where you rehearse someone’s opinion means so much to you that you’re even afraid to go and talk to them so you avoid them because you’ve placed them on a pedestal as a God in your life what is the fear of man here it is plain and simple the fear of man the fear of people is when you put someone or their approval as a God in your life when you put someone in the place of if I don’t have them I’m not gonna make it if I don’t have their approval I’m a nobody if they don’t give me two thumbs up then I don’t even matter and that’s a lie from the pit of hell I remember my parents bought a book for us as kids called you are special by Max Lucado and man this book changed us and I go back to it often we bought it for our kids and every time I read it a little tear forms in my eye because it’s all about this right here something that everyone deals with I’ve even tucked you you might say well this is some only young people do it then older people deal with this too I’ve talked with grandparents and parents who say I’m so afraid my kids are gonna reject me so I so III don’t share some of the truths that I know from God’s Word to I’m so afraid they’re never gonna come see me they’re not gonna spend time with me they’re gonna reject me if I speak the truth in love and there’s this fear of man amongst young people and older people rich people and poor people Americans and Europeans and Chinese South I mean every country the fear of man is a universal thing and so the way to break it the way to break it is to come back to the fear of the Lord who’s applause really matters who has God called you to be and sometimes we place limitations on people because we’re not free so we want people to be like us because we’re held captive by the fear of man so we’re gonna put it on other people you can’t take a day off I don’t take a day off you can’t have a Sabbath I don’t have a Sabbath really God has a Sabbath stop trying to tell people what they can’t do that’s not in the scriptures and it’s hurtful right there’s this there’s this limitation people came to me they said you can’t sing you can only preach stop that singing then people would say well you should just sing you can pick one of the other singer or preacher but what if God’s made me to be both see I think there’s unlimited potential when you stop worrying about everyone’s opinions about you and you start discovering gifts and talents inside you you didn’t even know existed because you just start living from God’s approval instead of me now I have a I have an ID like there’s there’s all kinds of things I like to do you know sometimes I like to I like to make movies sometimes I like to make videos and people are like you can’t do that you’re not a media guy but what what if what if there is some creativity inside of me right what if God wants to give you more than one gift but you’ll never know it if you live under the fear of what people say about you John you can’t write productions you can only preach on this day my brother is a great example this he does so many things he’s writing scripts for our Christmas plays in Easter plays he’s leading our downtown campus there’s so many opportunities limitless doors you can walk through when you start discovering God’s approval matters more than man’s of fruit I remember talking to someone back when I was a college pastor who said you know my parents they never did approve of the person that I started dating in and it wasn’t that the person that I was dating was bad or in sin they just didn’t like her they wanted me to be with someone else but I just knew in my heart are supposed to be with this girl and got married and my parents still didn’t approve even after the wedding they treated her like trash you can come on family vacation but she can’t if she comes don’t show up and it was this rejection not even a scriptural vacuum just a rejection then we placed so many lipid limitations on people that aren’t even in the scriptures we got to stop that we got a certain you know what the prayer we should pray for our kids is not my will be done I shouldn’t put my hands on liman benign you better be a basketball player you better play football you better be a pastor you better be a preacher what if I just said thy kingdom come Thy will be B who God’s made you to be you like golf play golf you like tennis place you want to be an academic you want to be an artist whatever God’s put inside you to be soared fly we put so many limitations on people and the fear of man it holds us captive I can’t be that because mom and dad won’t won’t won’t like me so how do we break it how do we break and how do we break it and I’m not talking about breaking away from God’s Word I’m talking about breaking away from the control of being disapproved by everybody I think there’s three things real quick number one we’ve got to renew our mind to God’s Word renew your mind you can’t go wrong when you get God’s Word as your God when God’s Word is your guide you can walk on the beam without fear that you’re gonna do something wrong when God’s Word is guiding you your word have I hidden in my heart that I might not sin against thee your word is a lamp unto my feet a light unto my path so I can walk on the water like Peter right when Peter stepped out of the boat he stopped worried what everyone else is thinking he starts walking towards Jesus and as long as Peter kept his eyes on Jesus he didn’t sink but when the wind and the waves picked up and what if the wind in the waves or what people are going to say what they’re gonna do stop looking to the left or to the right get your mind on God’s Word Romans 12 verse 2 says do not be conformed to the pattern of this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind so let me speak real quick to high schoolers and college students or even middle schoolers elementary listen there’s always going to be a click a group at school that says in order to hang with us you got to be like us you got a drink like us you got a party like us and let me just answer it for you right now no you don’t you don’t have to fit in with every group in your school and compromise your convictions to be just like everybody else to fit in this is not a popularity contest you only get one life and if you live to be popular with the groups that say to be popular you got to do this you got to think like this you got to conform to the pattern of our clique come back to the renewing of the mind God says I’m his child Romans 8 says those who are children of God are led by the Spirit of God Ephesians 2 says I’ve been adopted into gods family he then goes on to say in verse 10 I am a masterpiece created in Christ Jesus to do great works Philippians 4 says I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me Philippians 3 is no longer I live a Christ who lives in me the life I now live I live in the spirit through the Spirit of God when you start renewing your mind you start walking in the fear of the Lord instead of the fear of man the second thing is this you’ve got to trust completely I’ve got to trust completely in God’s love and validation trust completely let’s say this together I trust completely in God’s love and validation for me God doesn’t validate your sin but he validates you as a child of God God loves you he loves that you he made you to be and you know what I think he’s saying from heaven don’t hide you I’ve made you to be shine shine and be confident in who he’s called you to be something happened when my mom started dancing in church she broke free of the opinions of people she started doing the Sharon shake she started doing the Sharon dancing moves spinning around she started doing a little bit of Michael Jackson stuff in there started you know kind of doing all kinds of stuff and people say whoa whoa whoa Sharon Daugherty this was in the 80s you can’t do this this is not how church works in the 80s but my mom was ahead of her time come on son this little light of mine I’m gonna let it shine but she stopped living to get everybody’s two thumbs up because she said you know what God made me unique so she would laugh and people say well that laugh is too loud you need to tone it down and she would laugh louder and then when they hurt my dad’s laugh they were like oh that’s an embarrassing laugh ha ha you know he would do all kinds of laughs and people would be like I believe in you laughs too much but you know what my dad and mom tapped into something that I want you to tap into the freedom from the fear of man the freedom from what if I show Who I am they don’t like it what if I laugh what if I step out what if I lead a connect group what if I post this on YouTube what if I start witnessing in the workplace what if I start being who God made me what if I share my ideas with my boss what if I start that dream what if I start that business what if I write that book I’m gonna stop living under the fear of what if I’m rejected and I’m gonna start living under the fear of God knowing that I’m accepted by him that I have his validation his love for me Paul says in Romans 8 nothing can separate us from the love of God I’m convinced Paul says I’m totally persuaded that God loves me David would say in Psalm 139 how wonderful are your thoughts towards me God I am fearfully and wonderfully made so David had family members that were hating on him he had a father-in-law throwing spears at him he had a wife rolling her eyes out of shaking her head I’m so thankful my wife doesn’t do that my wife’s amazing in fact she’s taught me more about this whole thing of breaking free from the fear of men than a lot of people but David had all these characters in his life people saying you can’t do that you’re just a shepherd boy just go take care of your sheep you can’t fight Giants and David discovered he had so many gifts he was emotional you can’t be emotional men aren’t emotional you can’t write Psalms guys don’t do that and David discovered all these gifts that God placed inside them at the end of his life he was known as a man after God’s own heart some of us in this room were so afraid to tap into those things God’s called us to do maybe someone in this room you grew up with a father that never lets you cry and so in your mind grown men don’t cry but let me just break that stereotype for you today we cry maybe you grew up in a church or in a home where people don’t raise their hands to worship Jesus it’s not cool it’s not right my wife said this one time Paul we need to tell the whole church to pull out the cool card they brought when they came in just that imaginary cool card and just rip it up you are not here to be cool you are here to worship God something happens though when I’m not trying to impress you I’m actually able to love you more when I fear you less I can love you more when you fear people less you can actually love them more you think you’re loving them by trying to be everything they want you to be but as long as you’re fearing their approval you can’t love them authentically the authentic love flows from placing them off of the throne of your heart and putting God on the throne then you love the Lord your God with all your heart girl your soul mind and strength then you love your neighbors as yourself alright I’m almost done number three choose to walk in the fear of the Lord this is the third point how do we break up with the fear of people how do we break up with five you like that fob FOP fear of people if you don’t like it it’s okay cuz I’m approved by God I know where my identity lies number three choose to walk and fear the Lord I love what Paul said this is so good man the scripture is powerful Galatians 1 verse 10 obviously he says I’m not trying to win the approval of people it’s like Paul’s up on the beam of life hey guys I’m not trying to win your approval and he says this if I was then I wouldn’t be Christ’s servant if I was trying to be your servant if I was trying to win everyone else’s approval then I wouldn’t actually be serving Christ because I’m serving Christ I can give you what you need if I was living for what you want then I wouldn’t be able to bring you what you need but because I’m living for God’s approval I can bring you what you need I can give you the truth in love I can speak to you people have said at times Paul don’t say that you know who’s in the audience don’t preach on that topic you know who’s in the audience and you know what I like to just remind myself it’s just me and God in here when I get up on this stage I’m preaching to the audience of one and his applause matters the most and that’s what gives this freedom for me to do silly illustrations and to not worry about the rolling of the eyes or people getting up to go use the restroom every time I start preaching I just kid kinda [Music] all right let me in with this last thought real quick Paul said in first Corinthians 4 verse 3 it matters very little to me what you think of me even less where I rank in popular opinion Oh God that’s what I want that’s what I want I want it to matter very little to me what people think or where they rank me Oh God I pray that that statement would be so true for all of us set us free from the fear of people he says I don’t even rank myself anymore comparisons in these matters are pointless I’m not aware of anything that would disqualify me from being a good guide for you but what I think doesn’t really matter much the master is the one that makes that judgment so don’t get ahead of the master Church don’t jump to conclusions about people with your judgments before all the evidence is in when Christ returns he will bring out in the open and place in evidence all things all kinds of things we never even dreamed up in her motives and purposes and prayers only then will any of us get to hear well done so we can say to the fear of man you’re not my God God is my god so I’m not going to cling to the beam and secure about what people think or say I’m breaking the approval addiction off my life I’m breaking free from the Instagram society of constantly checking to see who liked it what they said what they didn’t say Lord I’m finding my identity completely in you my trust my worth my value we have this book in the bookstore called you are special the book I shared with you it’s a story about this little boy named Punchinello and I just feel in my spirit I have to share it and I can share it really fast but it’s so good it’s a village of all these wooden people called woman’s Max Lucado had this creative mind and he broke free of the fear of people saying what kind of genre he could write in as an author and man when you break free of what people think you could write all kinds of stuff so Max Lucado he writes this parable this story that all these wooden people boys and girls they were called lemmings and they would give they had a system of value if you did something well you got a star if you dressed up nice you got a star if you looked pretty or skinny enough you got a star stars for those who succeeded and dot’s for those who looked ugly dots for those who had too much weight dots for those who didn’t dress fashionable enough dots for those who couldn’t play sports dots for those who didn’t do well in academics dots for those who got F’s dots for those who came from dysfunctional families dots dots dots stars for the pretty dots for those who were unqualified and inferior and this one boy named Punchinello had so many dots he would try sports he would try riding he would try all kinds of stuff he tried to look good but his warts and all the stuff he had it just attracted more dots and the more dots he had more people would walk up and just put dots on him because he already had so many dots and one day he met this girl we’ll call her Lucy and Lucy had no dots no stars and she was free as can be she was twirling through the streets and didn’t care what anyone thought and she was different than everybody else no dots no stars and Punchinello came to her and he said what is it about you you have no dots and no stars and you’re happy how are you happy without any stars she said I met Eli he’s the carpenter he’s the one who made all of us he made you Punchinello and he said I have to meet him I have to meet him she said when I met him everything changed I would have dots one day and stars the next day good one day bad the next day pretty one day ugly the next day I would fit in with a group one day and I would be rejected the next day but then the stars they stopped sticking the dots they stopped sticking you’ve gotta meet Eli so Punchinello goes to Eli’s office in the carpenter’s shop and Eli hears him walking in and he says Punchinello you are special punch analysis B no no not me I’m unworthy I’m unqualified I have too many dots and Eli says no no Punchinello you are special not because of what you do or what you’ve done but because you’re mine you’re mine and as he said that the dot started to fall the next day Punchinello went outside more people placed dots on him and they stuck so he would go back to Eli’s office every day the carpenter shop and every day that he spent time with Eli the dots would fall off and finally he started walking outside and people would place thoughts on him and they stopped sticking because the more time he spent with Eli the less he cared about everybody’s dots and everybody stars somebody bought this is so powerful somebody bought 50 of those books and sent them to China to an orphanage with children who were deaf and mute and in China there’s a one-child rule and they and they try to find the males the males are valuable children and in the society and and and and so these families have placed these children up for adoption orphaned by their parents discarded by society and someone bought 50 of those you are special books for those 50 children and they’re reading through the books all at the same time each one of them is reading and they get to that one part and almost as a United moment they all looked at each other and they start bawling these deaf and mute children they just start weeping and the director of the orphanage is trying to figure out what’s going on what’s going on what happened what did it say and and he looks at the page and it’s the page where Eli says you are special because you’re mine something was happening in these children’s hearts they were discovering their value and their worth and that they mattered not because of what society said but because of what God said about them I want you to stand your feet all over this room you’re about to soar you’re about to take off I know on the other side of breaking free from the fear of man are limitless opportunities God has great things for you God has new ideas God’s gonna use you in your company and your family God’s gonna use you at your house social media is gonna stop owning you you’re gonna stop being a slave to Instagram and Facebook into the thumbs up or the heart emojis you’re gonna start having a secure identity a secure value the dots are gonna stop sticking the stars when people compliment you it won’t mean as much you’ll say hey thank you I appreciate the compliment but I didn’t need it I didn’t need it you don’t need it you don’t need it I used to think I had to get it so as a pastor back in Ohio God stand in the back of the room and just shake people’s hands anybody gonna say good job I was so insecure now I could go back there and shake hands and nobody has to say anything I get to love people more because I fear them less I get to love you more and you want a pastor like that you don’t want a pastor who’s addicted to the approval of people you want a pastor that’s free from that a couple weeks ago God dropped into my heart to invite TD jakes to come and speak here but you know what a year ago two years ago that idea was such a fearful thought Who am I to invite TD jakes he’s up here and I’m down here he’s in Dallas and I’m in Tulsa okay toss is pretty awesome [Applause] it was more just my self-image and I had this fear of inviting certain people I don’t have a connection he knew my mom and dad but he doesn’t know me who am i little old me and it was this poor self-image and you know what God has broken it off me and so three weeks ago when it dropped in my heart I was like yeah let’s call him let’s let’s find out so I called a friend who knows a friend who knows a friend and connected him and he said yeah I’ve come to preach him a victory and today he told this church I’m going to Paul’s Church in Tulsa but I’m going to victory it’s all so I’m gonna go preach next Sunday I just say that to say this you go well that’s a preacher’s thing but all of you in this room there’s there’s dreams there’s opportunities there’s things that God’s called you to do don’t let the fear of man hold you back don’t let it block you I want us just to close our eyes all over this place maybe you’re here right now and you’ve just had a fear of man maybe the fear of people the fear of their rejection the fear of of not being accepted by them the fear of their thumb not being up of being down the fear of whatever all over this room God’s want to do something inside these wanting to remind you where your value comes from where your worth comes from like the book don’t let the dots stick any longer don’t let the stars stick any longer you can be free to be you there’s a freedom when you break free of the fear of man and you walk in the fear of the Lord all over this place with heads bowed eyes closed if you’re ready to break free of that fear I want you to just lift your hand don’t worry about what anyone else thinks because that’s exactly what this message is for breaking free of what everyone else thinks all over this room if you’re if you’re wanting to break free of the fear of man I want you to just lift your hand up yes yes yes from the left to the right from the front to the back you’re saying I’m done fear of man I am dethroning you today I’m putting you out of business in my mind and heart I’m ready to start walking in that freedom and the fear of the Lord maybe here today you say Paul I’ve gotten in the ditch the other ditch of completely disregarding I’m ready to come back to the fear of the Lord if you raised your hand or you should have raised your hand I want you to leave your seat as a step of freedom come down to this altar join me at this altar I’m right here with you we are put fear out of business the fear man will hold us back no longer I’m no longer a slave to fear go ahead let’s just wash I’m a child of there’s room at the altar boys [Music] one [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Music] [Music] I dare you this week – just pretend like you’re on the balance beam of life and just lift your hands at your home in that quiet place I just say God you love me god you love me I’m your child you love my skin color you love my body you love my personality you made me uniquely valuable special I’m a masterpiece in your eyes God so I won’t fear what people what they don’t say what they think what they don’t think I won’t fear of their approval I’m gonna walk in the fear of the Lord the boundaries for my life will be defined by God’s Word Who I am is defined by what you say about me this week I dare you to rip up the cool card and say I’m not here to impress people I’m here to love you I’m gonna fear them less so I can love them for this week I dare you to do something you’ve never done before I don’t know what it is but do it as long as it’s you know not against God’s work for me Ashley 9 this last year there was this constant fear that you know we couldn’t couldn’t get away longer than six days because I had this fear you know if I’m gone more than six days people are gonna get mad or upset and so we had to break that fear of man of being able to take some family Sabbath time sabbatical time away during the summer and something was happening I was dethroned the fear of rejection from people and I was trusting to God this God spoke to us to do we had you can’t do it unless God’s really leading you to do it for some you know I was talking to someone else who said I had a real fear to share anything on my social media about Jesus so I only talked about sports because I had people following me that didn’t really believe in Jesus so if I post about Jesus they wouldn’t follow me and I was afraid of them unfollowed me because I really need their approval you see what I’m saying and so they stopped looking for that person’s approval and they started sharing Jesus on their social media and you know what they were able to be a witness to some people that only followed them they didn’t follow any other preachers they were able to bring them into a closer relationship to God you don’t know what’s on the other side of breaking free from the fear of man you might be the answer to their prayers if you’ll just step out and witness at your workplace start that connect group respond to that altar call whatever it is lord I just pray for every person in this room to experience total freedom every person watching online watching this message on YouTube or or listening to it in their car in Jesus name I pray for a breakthrough from the approval addiction if you’re here right now you’ve never let Jesus be Lord of your life I want you to just raise your hand today’s your day to surrender to Christ to say god I’m coming back to you I want you to be Lord of my life if you’re watching online raise your hand right where you’re at this is a day of salvation let’s give a big hand clap to everyone today there’s making a decision to follow Jesus [Music] and let’s pray this prayer right now just say Jesus I surrender to you I’m all yours thank you for dying on the cross for my sins he rose from the dead to give me eternal life I repent and I receive your forgiveness you define me I choose to follow you your word is my guide thank you Jesus for setting me free from fear the fear of people I choose to walk in the fear of the Lord trusting in you as my security my safety my identity thank you God for loving me adopting me into your family I’m all yours in Jesus name Amen and amen come on praise God I love you God loves you you got the victory your best days are in front of you
Victory Tulsa: According to Pastor Paul Daugherty, fear is a business and we do not have to buy into it. Through practical steps and with the word of God this series will help you take back what fear has stolen in your life.
About Pastors Paul and Ashley Daugherty
Paul Daugherty and his wife Ashley, serve as the Lead Pastors of Victory in Tulsa, Oklahoma. They also travel around the world speaking at churches, conferences, and crusades. Paul’s desire is that people feel empowered and challenged to step out and fulfill God’s purpose for their lives. Paul and Ashley have two sons, Liam and Benaiah.
Paul is the author of multiple mini-books such as The Fourth Quarter, Relationship Refresh, 60 Promises, Born for More, and Stepping into Revival. He has also written worship songs that are featured on several albums, and he has also released two personal albums, which have appeared on Christian television networks.
About Victory Tulsa
Victory Tulsa exists to Connect people to God and each other, Equip people to fulfill their God- given purpose, and empower the church to Reach out locally and globally with God’s love. Their services are all about Jesus. Everything they do in their services is about you having an encounter with Him. It’s why their team spends numerous hours preparing & praying throughout the week.
They pray that when you come, your life is impacted by the people around you. Their staff & volunteers are passionate about making you feel welcome. Whether it’s in the parking lot or at the doors, they want you to feel at home.
- For the latest updates, news and information, visit them online at: http://victory.com
Victory Tulsa Church Channel | Pastors Paul and Ashley Daugherty
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101 Days of Absolute Victory is for every person, regardless of age or spiritual maturity. You will be encouraged and inspired as you learn each day how to draw on God’s power to help you through the challenges of life.
Powerful scriptural passages paired with dynamic declarations of faith provide a refreshingly practical way to apply what you learn. | Learn more…