Finances: You and Your Money | Pastor Jeff Schreve

[Music] your personality type is a good indicator of how and why you handle money the way you do welcome to from his heart with pastor Jeff Schreve who today will help you discover how God wants you to handle you and your money [Music] hebrews chapter 13 we want to talk today about you and your money a distressed wife contacted the marriage counselor and she was in terrible straits and she said to the marriage counselor she said i need you desperately to help my husband and me true story and she said we were married and then we ran into all sorts of problems and we got divorced and we stayed divorced for a number of years and then we remarried thinking that we would get over the problems and learn from our mistakes but she said we’re back in the same situation and here was the problem he was a spender and she was a saver and he was better at spending than she was at saving and they had major financial issues and the woman said this it’s all financial every bit of it the whole reason for all our fights and all the devastation in our family is all related to money money is one of the key issues of life how you and I handle money Jesus talked a lot about money in the Bible the Bible speaks a lot about money why because we have to have money to live every single person you have to have money to get by in this world and the tendency is with money that you put your faith and trust in money you know on our money it says In God We Trust but I wonder how many people really trust in God when it comes to money so many people Christians they trust they they say well God I trust you but I’m really trusting in money and they make decisions based on money and jesus said no man can serve two masters either he will hate the one and love the other or he’ll despise the one and cling to the other you cannot serve God and money so your attitude toward money my attitude toward money is really really critical and God tests us to see how do you handle that which I’ve entrusted to you so often we get the idea that that we have made all this money and that we get to decide what we want to do with our money and the truth of the matter is the earth is the Lord’s and all it contains we are just stewards of what God gives us how we use it on our attitude toward toward it as it relates to spending as it relates to saving as it relates to giving they speak volumes about us and as we talked last week when we kicked off our series it’s not easy being me we talked about the four temperaments you know Hippocrates came up as he studied the Greek physician and philosopher and it lived he was born in 460 BC well he is a smart guy and he began to observe how people acted certain ways and he divided people into four categories and he said you can tell a lot about a person based on these four categories and you remember we talked about the temperaments the sanguine the popular sanguine the the life of the party kind of person Gary Smalley calls the sanguine the fun-loving otter and there’s that kind of person and that that person has major strengths and major weaknesses there is the powerful choleric the lion type of person who is very goal-oriented and very practical and and man he’s full speed ahead and that kind of person is a great kind of person has great qualities also has weaknesses associated with that then there is the more introverted temperament there’s the melancholy temperament the person who is very analytical and very precise and very we gave that the word perfect the popular otter the powerful lion the perfect bee the the one that is meticulous that has everything and neat and orderly and that person has great great potential and great abilities but also great weaknesses that go along with that personality type and then there is the phlegmatic laid-back golden retriever peaceful personality the person that just kind of calmed not a lot of high highs not a lot of low lows just kind of calm and that’s a wonderful characteristic to have but that that person can tend to be lazy he can tend to have problems with this thing called inertia getting going he can have problems with procrastination we talked about all those things last week well listen those things your temperament and nobody is all of one temperament you have a mixture of things but your temperament influences how you spend and how you save and how you give it’s very very critical because temperament influences everything that you do now the scripture says in Hebrews chapter 13 let your character be free from the love of money being content with what you have for he himself has said I will never desert you nor will I ever forsake you so that we may confidently say the Lord is my helper I will not be afraid what shall man do to me now the Bible is very clear that we have to watch it in this thing called money we have to be careful that we don’t start loving money money is a tremendous servant but a terrible master and many people the Bible says for the love of money is a root of all sorts of evil and some by longing for it have wandered away from the faith and have pierced themselves with many a pain the love of money will wreck and ruin your life your family and so the Bible says make sure that your character is free from that and be content with the things that God gives you don’t don’t constantly desire more and more and more and more and and remember that you have Christ I will never leave you he says I’ll never desert you I’ll never forsake you so as we think about that and that’s a command to all of us Hebrews 13:5 now think about that as it relates to the temperaments because the scripture says in proverbs 14 verse 8 that the wisdom of the prudent is to understand his way so understand his bent it’s to understand his manner to understand his habit it’s to understand if we kind of broaden that in in the context of what we’re talking about the wisdom of the prudent is to understand how God made him and how he came into this world with his particular temperament and his bent because the more you understand yourself it’s not easy being me is what we’re calling this series the more you understand yourself and the more you understand your spouse and the more you understand your kids and the more kids understand their parents we can get along a lot better and we can cut each other a lot more slack and people are different and as we say at the family life marriages conferences hey opposites attract two clerics don’t normally marry each other because one lion doesn’t want to live with another lion they’ll will eat each other it just doesn’t they’re just too much of this driver personality and so opposites attract and when they attract then after they get married they attack because they notice all the weaknesses inherent in the other person and they don’t so often don’t cut the other person some slack and say you know what it’s not that you’re wrong and I’m right you’re just different from me and that’s okay differences are good so let’s look today about your temperament as it relates to money the wisdom of the prudent is to understand his way here’s the question do you understand your way when it comes to money first temperament we want to look at the popular sanguine what’s the popular sanguine z’ attitude toward money he or she is very free with regard to money they are the big spenders is the sanguine now let’s look again at the characteristics of the sanguine this is from Gary Smalley and he he does not the sanguine choleric melancholy phlegmatic he does animals and so he says that you have in that bottom left-hand corner you have the fun-loving otter the otter is the sanguine personality very animated shows feelings emphasizes main ideas is very persuasive is very social is a great motivator is a great natural salesman he or she is great at that why because they love people and they love to have fun and they are so fun themselves I love being around sandwich because they make everything fun my uncle uncle harry super sanguine and he was so free with money he made a lot of money and he spent a lot of money and he loved to spend money and he loved to go out to eat and he always picked up the tab you want to hang around sanguine when you go out to eat because they are ready to pick up the tab I remember going out to eat with him one time we went to lunch and it was it was Uncle Harry and my aunt Regina and my mom and dad and and I was there and we went out to lunch just at Bennigan’s and I remember the waitress I kind of pulled her over to the side and I said to her I said today is your lucky day I said you have Uncle Harry here I said he’s legendary in Los Angeles I said you play along with him because he was always you know gregarious and talking to the waiters and waitresses and so I said you play along with him and I said he’ll tip you you know 30 40 50 percent that’s just the way Harry was very free with the money now sanguine enjoy spending money and buying nice things that’s a joy for them and they really like it they like to go shopping at the mall you give a sang when a credit card and it’s Katie bar the door because they just meant wow I just throw that down there and it’s fun hey it’s fun to go on a shopping spree who doesn’t like to do that until the bill comes in then it’s not so fun but at the time it’s fun and see for a sanguine he acts first she acts first and thinks later because it’s just like well let’s do it as I told you but weak friend of mine who’s a sanguine he his attitude was I’m a why not guy you know I don’t ask the question why I ask the question why not let’s do it and let’s jump in so these folks can get themselves into debt and they can spend lots of money maybe money that they don’t have they tend to be impulse buyers I was reading about a sanguine lady this week and she was having lunch with a friend and she said it was at a strip mall and she parked her car and was going into the restaurant but the restaurant was just a couple doors down from a pet store and so she walked by the pet store and what do you have to do at a pet store where you have to look in the window and so she looked in the window and on the other side of the window was this puppy looking back at her and she was like that looks like my puppy I mean there’s just a connection here I just see a connection but she said I got to go to lunch and so she she turned away she went to lunch she came back out she had to walk the same way she saw the puppy again looking at her and just on impulse she ended up going into the pet store buying the puppy and the crate and the toys and did this and to that she said she walked out of the pet store a thousand dollars poorer a thousand dollars at a pet store she didn’t know anything about this pet well this pet had all kinds of problems to make a long story short the pet only lived for five years and had 15 surgeries and cost her thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars what was her problem she’s impulse buyer and the impulse was there and I’m going to do it Tsang ones enjoy spending money and buying nice thing they like to go to the jewelry store and they don’t want to look at the cheap stuff show me something nice I had a guy tell me one time he said it was Valentine’s Day this is years ago when we had little kids and lots of kids no money and so he I said I need to get something from my wife he was selling jewelry on the side he said how much do you want to spend I really don’t want spend anything but I didn’t think you had anything for free I said hey what we did what do you have for 100 or less he was what about a thousand I said yeah I don’t want to look at that catalog let’s go a hundred or less I don’t have that to spend but he was that kind of guy wanted other people to be like that now sanguine z– are also faithful to give but can be unwise in giving of all the temperaments sanguine czar the ones who are most generous just naturally most generous because it’s just within them in their bent in their way to want to give to people to want to help people to want to say yes I’m sign me up I’ll do it all I’ll give to this and that’s wonderful in the church but now you have to watch it if you tend to be this personality type and as we said nobody’s all of one you’re a mixture of these but if you tend to have a lot of those characteristics like my Uncle Harry you have to watch that you don’t overextend you have to watch that you don’t give money that you don’t have the scripture is clear first Timothy chapter 5 verse 8 and it says that a man is supposed to provide for the needs of his household says if anyone does not provide for his own especially for those of his own household he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever so you have to make sure that I don’t give away the rent money to help this person on this cause or that person on that cause because I got to take care of the things at home first and I have to be able to prioritize there is a strong tendency for the sanguine to give away more than what is prudent we had a situation when Sarah was little 4 greater Sara my youngest daughter sanguine very sanguine and I loved that and she was so fun as a little kid I love all my kids but they’re all different and is Amy’s just like me she’s phlegmatic melancholy and Jill is melancholy and choleric and man she can get a lot done because she’s orderly and detailed and disciplined and she’s got this strong Drive Sarah is sanguine and choleric and the sanguine part as a little kid was just huge in her and Debbie would go and buy snacks for the kids she would go to Sam’s and get cheez-its and in the you know you buy it Sam’s you’re buying for an army right yeah I mean you can’t you just get this big box did she get a big box the cheez-its and she noticed that it would be like man I’ve bought those two or three days ago there half of them are gone and she thought Oh who’s eating all the cheese’s we got rats in Harriman what’s happening and she couldn’t figure it out until she saw Sarah one day was taking 24 bags of cheez-its and sticking her in her backpack when Debbie’s like what are you doing she said why I bring these to school give them out to everybody in my class and I love that attitude that she wanted to be so generous but it’s like will you buddy the cheez-its and then you can give him away and then these are my cheez-its you know this is I could be generous with your own stuff but that was just within her as a little girl six years old she just wanted to be a blessing to all the people in her class and so it was unwise what she was doing but she had that heart to give now sanguinis are helped by the following prescription if you have this sanguine bent to you you need to do some things that will help remember we said that hebrews chapter 12 verse 1 therefore since we have a so great a cloud of witnesses these witnesses surrounding us let us lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us there are certain particular sins King James calls them besetting sins there are certain weaknesses things that we have to watch for depending on how we are bent and how we’re why and so for the sanguine the prescription financial prescription from the Bible number one consult God on all spending consult God don’t don’t just say well I’m just gonna get this I’m just going to do this no consult the Lord on all the spending remember you’re not the owner I’m not the owner none of us are owners God is the owner the earth is the Lord’s and all that contains the world and those who dwell in it you and I are just managers of God’s stuff and God is going to ask us at the judgment for a Christian the judgment seat of Christ how well did you manage the things I put in your charge they don’t belong to you they belong to God how well did you manage so consult God with all your spending and bring those things to the Lord and say Lord I’m thinking about this Oh Lord I want to buy this Lord would it be okay if I do that with your money consult God on all spending number two learn to wait on the Lord proverbs 21 verse 5 the plans of the diligent leads surely to advantage but everyone who is hasty comes surely to poverty you have to really watch for impulse buying if you tend to be this kind of outgoing bubbly life-of-the-party person watch for the impulse buying because the impulse buying can get you into terrible trouble it can get you buying things that you can’t afford I had a friend of mine customer of mine when I work for now Co he was sanguine personality and he had lots of credit card debt I mean I couldn’t believe when he told me how much credit card debt he had I was like thirty thousand dollars worth of credit card debt and we’re gonna get to me in a minute in terms of how I’m wired but oh just like thirty thousand goodness and he told me he went on a little vacation to Las Vegas and they were selling slot machines just like like you know you could have one at your house I don’t know you penalize yourself I don’t know how this works but he was and he said man I found out there were only 500 dollars and he said boy I could feel myself just wanting to pull out my my credit card and slap it down there and say I’m gonna get one it’s like why do you want one of those I mean I couldn’t couldn’t figure out why anyone would want to buy that especially somebody had thirty thousand dollars worth of credit card debt to buy something you don’t need to put it on your credit card just didn’t make any sense to me well to his credit he didn’t get it but that kind of impulse hey if you’re hasty you’re gonna come surely to poverty now my sanguine youngest daughter Sarah she had it in her mind one day that our neighbor had puppies and they were little chihuahua puppies are so cute and she said you know I want to get a puppy and Debbie was like hey you know I don’t think that’s a good idea because you know you’re going off to school and you’re gonna be in Little Rock and you don’t really have time for a puppy oh it’s just the mom they’re free it’s like yeah puppies are not free I don’t know they may give you one but you’re gonna be paying for it and so what what happened you know she’s like what I wanted and so it was so cute and I have to have it and so she brought the puppy you know took the puppy and named the puppy Fergie and so I had a de Ferguson said one time he can you watch my puppy and she said well maybe what’s the puppy’s name I said Fergie she said okay and so you know she thought well that’s that’s a sign from God that I’m supposed to watch your puppy but uh anyway so she has this little black chihuahua puppy she takes it home to Little Rock where she’s gone all the time so the puppies just there in the bathroom are in her a little crate well she she’s hating life the little puppy and she’s sneaking under the bed and doing things she shouldn’t do under there you know to get even and so after about six weeks Sarah calls Gigi and papi and says hey I don’t think I can handle this dog it’s like whoa are you calling me well we wondered if you could take her well bring her over let me look and then this is what happened I could resist I said okay in fact little Ferg’s is like my favorite dog but but that’s one of those things she didn’t think it through the problem with this thing when they act and then they think about it later and they think I probably wasn’t a very good decision so they need to wait on the Lord the plans are the diligently surely to advantage but everyone is hasty come surely to poverty and they need to become financially accountable this helps so much to have somebody to come alongside to you someone who’s not a sanguine and says let me sit down with you let me help you develop a budget let me be your accountability partner on your financial spending and to her credit just about a year or so ago Sarah came to Debbie and me and she said help me with this help me with school loans help me with all my expenses help me to develop a budget help me to get out of debt and she calls us D&J; financial and so dnj financial are helping her and that’s a good thing faithful are the wounds of a friend you need to have a friend who can be faithful to tell you the truth about where you’re going financially but that’s the popular sanguine now let’s look at the powerful lion the powerful choleric is a very is very driven with regard to money now the the choleric the lion is direct his competitive decision-maker visionary expresses appendant opinions readily very opinionated and is not a at all reticent to tell you their opinion that is the choleric personality the lion type of personality very powerful now we had a similar type of personality temperament test that we did when I was in sales when I was selling chemicals for now Co they didn’t use the choleric sanguine melancholy phlegmatic they didn’t use those terms they used the terms driver expressive amiable analytical and they said hey you’re gonna have customers and they’re gonna fall into one of those four types and so you need to know what kind of person you’re dealing with so you’ll know how to sell to them you’ll know what’s important to them and they called the choleric in this personality study the driver the driver and this is the powerful person this is the the lion and he is driven and he’s very driven with money kool Eric’s enjoy making money and using it practically they’re good at making money most of the time they’re good at business most of the time you look at the entrepreneurs in our society so many of them are choleric in their personality and they’re very practical in how they use money and spend money you know a choleric if he goes shopping for a gift he’s liable to buy if he has ten people on his shopping list for Christmas he’s liable to buy ten of the same gift he’s like this is a good gift this is a good all-purpose gift I’m getting Swiss Army knives for everyone because it’s just a good gift for everybody everybody shouldn’t have a Swiss Army knife that’s the way this guy thinks and sometimes he’s not very good with romance why because he’s very practical and romance doesn’t kind of fit in the practical category so it’s it’s Valentine’s Day what am I getting you well I’m gonna get you a vacuum I mean you need a new vacuum cleaner I’m gonna get you that and and he thinks you ought to be happy about that that’s just his brain works in terms of practical things he enjoys making money and using it practically he can struggle with giving and greed now the scripture makes it clear in Hebrews 13:5 there were all to watch for that let your character be free from the love of money the love of money of covetousness the 10th commandment in the Ten Commandments you shall not covet your neighbor’s house or your neighbor’s spouse or anything belongs to your neighbor and when you and I are afflicted and infected with covetousness we want more and more and more we’re not satisfied with what we have we want to get more we look at what someone else has and said well I need to have more than they do and the choleric is very competitive when it comes to business and you know a lot of people who are very wealthy it’s not about the money anymore it’s about the power it’s like playing Monopoly and you just want to keep stacking up 500 all or bills you want to get I used to play with the guy and we’d go play for hours and we devised a system where you could get double hotels and you know you pay that and then it was double the rent and and it’s just all this we’d make up money because we’d ran out of money and so we have to make our own money to be able to play and you just felt good about yourself because you’re a big shot you had boardwalk and Park Place and everything else well the clerics like that and they struggle if they’re not careful with giving and with greed why because they tend to to want to have more and more and more cleric friend of mine he said I love to look at my bank statement as it goes up every month that was just like one of the joys of his life this is kind of strange but the he was like that choleric SAR helped by the following prescription walk in love and value people over goals clerics very goal-oriented he’s very driven to complete the task and to achieve the goal and sometimes people can get in the way and sometimes they can be a steamroller it’s like hey you better get out of my way cuz I’m coming down the road here and if you if you’re not with me you’re gonna get run over and they can be like that they need to remember that people are more important than goals and the goal of the Christian life is to walk in love jesus said by this all men will know that you’re my disciples if you have love for one another you know who was very choleric in his personality type the Apostle Paul man he was driven he was goal-oriented he was planning churches he here and here and here and here going on all the missionary journeys he was a hard worker and he had trouble sometimes with people namely one of the guys that went on the first missionary journey with him the cousin of Barnabas his name was John Mark John Mark bailed out halfway on the missionary first missionary journey and when Barnabas and Saul sat down to say hey we need to go back to have a second missionary journey check on this church as we planted Barnabas says well let’s take John Mark Paul’s like we’re not taking that quitter we’re not taking that loser we took him once he didn’t follow through forget him and Barnabas is like no Paul he wants to come he’s gonna be good he know we need to take it there arose such a sharp disagreement between Barnabas and Paul that they quit they didn’t go together anymore Barnabas went with John Mark and Paul grabbed Silas and they went on their missionary journeys Paul ends up at the toward the end of his life he mentions John Mark and how John Mark was useful to him for service he realized that you know I was probably too harsh on John Mark but but that’s the that’s the powerful choleric the lion kind of person if you fail me I can’t trust you I don’t want you on the team anymore get out of here and I’m gonna run you down they need to walk in love and value people over goals clerics need to be patient and humble and avoid risky business deals clerics here’s the issue with a cleric they he has the attitude I can handle it I can do it I’m able I’m smart I’m gonna work hard I can make this go and he has a tendency she has a tendency if not careful to put confidence in the flesh and confidence in self and it’s not that you you’re saying well god I don’t trust you it’s just that you can get ahead of the Lord because you kind of just see this as this is a good thing and I know I can handle it so you have to be patient you have to be humble you have to realize hey you know what I can’t handle everything God I need you and with apart from you I can do nothing and you have to avoid risky business deals did you know that one of the big names in financial planning that is a guy who is so successful many of you have taken his course Dave Ramsey Financial Peace University is the brainchild of Dave Ramsey when Dave Ramsey was 26 years old he’s a super cool Eric when he was 26 years old he was making $250,000 a year he said he had a net worth of a million dollars and everything on the outside looked like man that guy is got it going on and he had four million dollars of real estate debt that he was trying to work through and float and make it go and all that well he took on way too much debt he he got involved in things that just too much he couldn’t handle that and that sunk him and Dave Ramsey lost everything and he had to start over and from that he said hey Romans 8:28 we know God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God to those who are called according to his purpose and he rebuilt from the ashes because ol Eric’s are good at that they don’t give up because they’re competitive and they’re strong-willed and they’re gonna make it go and he has made it go isn’t that worth today looked it up on the Internet today his net worth 55 million dollars and he has some of you to thank for that because you’ve purchased his materials hey his materials are good and he shares a lot from his own failures but here’s the thing be patient and humble avoid risky business deals number three involve your spouse in financial dealings and decisions very very critical for the choleric to involve specially the men to involve their wives in what they’re doing many clerics are just kind of like I don’t need anybody else I can do this on my own the Lions not going to check with the otter if he’s gonna get ready to do something and make a kill and so they can be like that and here’s the wife and the wife can be snow then be out in the cold and not know anything about their finances and it doesn’t seem to be a problem until the lion has a heart attack and dies and the wife is left saying I don’t know anything about any of our finances I don’t know where he keeps things I don’t know about our insurance I don’t know jack squat about the financial part of our relationship he did all that and he didn’t involve her first Peter chapter 3 verse 7 you husband’s likewise live with your wives in an understanding way and grant her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life so that your prayers may not be hindered one way to grant your wife honor is to involve her in the finances in and in the financial decisions some wives aren’t very interested but she needs to know enough so if something happened to you she would know what you have and where to find it and what’s going on financially that’s very very important did you know guys so much of the time God gives insight to your wife that he doesn’t give to you because he wants you to talk to your wife he wants you to involve your wife you know the classic example in Scripture is pilots wife who said to pilot concerning Jesus have nothing to do with that just man for I suffered greatly in a dream because of him and Pilate would have been wise to listen to the voice of his wife he involved your spouse in financial dealings and fourthly set your mind and heart on eternal values the eternal things they can be very easy for the choleric driver to just see earthly things and I’m gonna build a bigger company and I’m gonna add this and I’m gonna add that and we’re gonna do this and we’re gonna do that and they keep those things that’s not bad but but you got to make sure I’m not just laying up treasure upon earth but I’m laying up treasure in heaven the scripture says in Colossians chapter 3 verse 2 set your mind set your heart and your affection some the things above not on the things that are on earth the eyes of a fool the Bible says are on the ends of the earth and so to to keep looking up and to keep saying I need to invest this in the kingdom of God so the popular sanguine is very free with money the powerful choleric is very driven with money the perfect melancholy is very controlled with money that’s the third type of personality and temperament is the cleric and there are the melancholy very controlled because they’re very controlled with life and if we look on our sheet and we see the the beaver the melancholy inventive accurate can be critical is critical perfection paralysis hate disorganization and unpredictability they like a schedule and they’re very controlled in their lives very disciplined in their lives and by nature and tend to be very controlled with money they enjoy making a budget and sticking to it a melancholy likes a budget a sanguine doesn’t ever think about a budget look at a sanguine checkbook and it looks like a crossword puzzle this Sudoku it’s just like all over the place what is this but a melancholy man it is just balanced to the penny because they’re ordered in their mind and in their makeup and very very detailed and so they enjoy the budget and they struggle with fear and analysis paralysis it’s one of the downsides to be in a melancholy is you tend to your viewpoint in life tends to be a negative viewpoint you as I told you last week it’s not that the question is not is the glass half-full or the glass half-empty it’s the for the melancholy the glass is half-empty with a crack in it I just see all the things that can go wrong here I see all the name give things that’s just kind of how I’m wired if you’re Melancholy you’re wired that way doesn’t mean you’re a bad person doesn’t mean you’re a faithless person it just means this is how I’m kind of bent and so maybe I need to overcome that I have been around people that have had analysis paralysis they just want to keep well let’s just analyze it from this angle and then let’s look at it from this angle let’s look at it from this angle it’s like hey the the opportunity the door of opportunity is going to close if we spend years and years analyzing this opportunity before us they can have analysis paralysis so what’s the the prescription for The Melancholy trust God and walk in faith not fear key verse for The Melancholy second Timothy chapter one and verse seven God has not given us a spirit of fear but of power and love and discipline they have the discipline down but they need the to know that God hasn’t given them a spirit of fear and anytime the fear starts to well up in their hearts that’s not coming from God that’s coming from the enemy who wants to keep them from walking by faith because they’re filled with fear trust in the Lord the Bible says with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding and all your ways acknowledge him and he will direct your path secondly the melancholy combat negativism with praise and discipline thinking there’s a tendency for the melancholy to be negative so what do you do with negative you praise the Lord you start to look on life and the things that you can thank God for and you do that and the discipline thinking Philippians chapter 4 verse eight should be a verse that everyone memorizes especially if you tend to be melancholy in your temperament finally brethren whatever is true whatever is honorable whatever is right whatever is pure whatever is lovely whatever is of good repute if there is any excellence and anything worthy of praise let your mind dwell on these things and put a guard at the door of your mind and if a thought is trying to come in that is not true and honorable and right and pure and lovely and of good repute then don’t let it in say nope you can’t come in well this is a thought that you’re gonna lose everything nope you can’t come in I’m not gonna think on that because the Lord says I’m only to think on those things that are true and honorable and right and then reevaluate your standards what does that mean it doesn’t have to be perfect you know that’s that’s one of the problems with the melancholy everything has to be perfect if everything has to be perfect sometimes you don’t get very much done you know you’re gonna write a letter in business but it’s got to be a perfect letter let’s face it with so many letters that we write in business people are reading it for maybe a minute or two they’re just scanning it and we have agonized over every word and every comma and they’re not looking at it like that I’m big on don’t have grammatical errors but you know whether you use the word as or like it’s probably not that big a deal and sometimes people can agonize over that stuff and so just say hey this is not that it’s good enough but this is my best I always tell people at the church I said listen if you haven’t at 30 minutes to write this letter give it your all for 30 minutes do the best you can in 30 minutes if you have three hours to prepare a Sunday School lesson then give it your all for three hours and then just let the chips fall I mean just say Lord I gave my best in the time I had and I always want to give my best to you my daughter Amy is very she has a lot of melancholy in her and I used to tell her Amy I said God is not calling you to be the best he’s calling you to do your best big difference between being the best and doing your best you can’t control being the best and you probably always can find somebody better at you in X whatever it is there’s somebody better at me in golf or their Millions better there there’s probably three quarters of your audience here today or better at me than golf I told some of the other day I was playing I said I told my wife I said I think I could play that game every day for five years and still not be better than you know the lady at Cal horn Creek I mean I’m just not very good at golf and it is frustrating but you always can find somebody better so it’s not about being the best it’s about doing your best and if I know I did my best then I can be pleased with myself and I can say lord I gave you my best and when it comes to shopping and buying you evaluate things do I have to have the very best of this product or could something lesser do because if it’s something that you’re going to use or maybe you use it three times a year does it have to be the absolute best the most expensive that they have or can something lesser do and that helps you in your finances and then lastly the peaceful phlegmatic is very cautious with money he or she doesn’t like to spend money they love to save hate to spend and here are the characteristics again of the phlegmatic Smalley calls that the golden retriever patient cooperative collaborative slow to change very slow to change and can be loyal to a fault and they can be very very stingy and very selfish and they just want to kind of stay in their own little world and like a turtle they don’t stick their head out much because they’re just comfortable in their own little world listen if like Maddox love to save and hate to spend you’re married to a phlegmatic that’s my my basic personality type is phlegmatic and Debbie’s is sanguine and cleric or cleric sanguine one of those is greater than the other but so we opposites attract I’m phlegmatic and melancholy introverted she is extroverted and I see all the things in her that aren’t in me and I’m like man I’m attracted to that and she sees things in me that aren’t in her she was attracted to that and so man I like to save I don’t like to spend and I used to love to play this game with debía Slyke Debbie when we were first married how cheap do you think we could live she hated that game is to make her so nervous it’s like are you getting ready to quit your job and what’s going on why do we have to always play how cheap can we live I said we you know just it just kind of helps me to feel you know could we could we get by on 500 a month our house payments 800 a month how we gonna do that I said well we do you have to live in the house could we buy a tent you know I was just thinking along those lines but don’t like to spend like to save I’ve been having trouble with my hip I went to the doctor I said I having trouble with my hip carry care of cook she looked at did x-ray on my hip she said man your hip is bad she said how old are you son is that the time I was 52 I said I’m 52 she says look like you’re 75 that’s pretty rude I said well I’m gonna get a second opinion so I got a second opinion Trey Mitchell in our church orthopedic surgeon I said what do you think’s many your hip is bad he didn’t ask me how old I was he knew and so he’s just like you need to get your hip replaced like you know I don’t trust you guys I call a friend of mine I went to high school with it’s an orthopedic surgeon in Houston I said hey bill what do you think he goes you wanted to get both your hips replaced I said good night what do you mean both my ýstanbul your hips are bad so I went back to Cara I said I said what do you think anyway we started talking I was talking more to Trey and he said you know what you can do is you can get a shot in your hip joint I said okay I said tell me about that I said I said how does that work he said well you can go to the surgery center and we can do it and they can you know they can put you under and then you just wake up and it’s no big deal or we can do it in one of the offices there at column and Kearny then I said I said what’s the advantage of that he said well that’s gonna be a lot cheaper I said sign me up sign me up for the cheaper and so a couple of weeks ago I did it I got there with Trey we’re on the table he pulls out the needle it’s like that long he’s going all in the hip joint and he said to me this is going to sting a little like a bee I said holy cow are these the bees from The Hunger Games I mean I like diet like my goodness you know I just wanted to hit the morphine pump I did somebody help me didn’t last that long but it was painful but but what why did I do that cuz Debbie said I would never done that I don’t want to feel that going into my hip like yeah but I probably save 50 bucks you know I mean so it’s just to go with the cheap and we don’t like to spend money when we had our first house I was about three blocks away from my brother my older brother and I didn’t have a lawnmower this is his first house and so when I needed a mow the lawn I just called Greg I said hey Greg can borrow your mower say okay so I’d walk over to his house get the mower walk it down the three blocks mow my yard walk it back did that two or three times call him up one day I said hey Greg can I borrow your mower he said hey you know what he said I know where you can get a mower I said really where he said Sears get your own mower could borrow in mind it’s a good deal for me flag Maddux very slow in making financial decisions because they’re slow in doing most anything because they they just like to sit on the couch and procrastinate and so when it comes to finances Debbie would tell me said Jeff we need to move no we don’t need to move yeah we need to move I think it’s fine here know the area’s going down we need to move I don’t think so well she just keeps she figured me out she just need to keep planting hints and working on because it took me a while and finally I would say hey Debbie I think we need to move it’s getting kind of rough around here that was on our first house and so she’s like yeah and so then we finally moved it just took a little while when we bought our first car there’s a big deal first new car it’s a big deal we did all that checking on the car you know consumer reports everything we went in there we went into the car salesman we were loaded for bear we weren’t gonna let him take advantage of us and so we bought the car I woke up the next morning at 3 o’clock in the morning wide-awake Debbie are you awake she said I am now what’s up I said I’m thinking we made a mistake it’s one of the things about a phlegmatic we have buyer’s remorse because we don’t like to spend and it’s hard for us to spend flag Mattox very slow in making financial decisions and they’re helped by the following prescription number one believe God for big things and step out in faith key verse for a phlegmatic is ephesians three regions 3:20 now to him who is able to do exceeding abundantly beyond all we ask or think according to the power that works within us to him be the glory believe God for big things God is a big God and take a step of faith secondly confront life and discuss finances with your spouse you know the choleric can just say I got all this under control and not involve his spouse but the phlegmatic can just be quiet about things and especially things that if the finances start going south he doesn’t want to talk about that because that’s not going to be a fun conversation so you just kind of quiets down you need to talk those things out and with any husband and wife you need to talk through things especially something like money and purchases needs to confront life not live like a turtle stuck in his shell but to step out you know for the choleric they need to pull back in some of the things they’re doing because they tend to just pile up their plate and a phlegmatic flag Mattox need to do more and push themselves to do more because you can get more done than you think you can and quit selling yourself short and then number three practice generosity and become a cheerful Giver practice generosity I am naturally cheap so I want God to hell me be generous I see some of the sanguine I see my uncle Harry I watched him and I thought man I want to be like that where he’s just freely gives the generous man the Bible says we’ll be blessed so I want to be generous with people I want to practice generosity we were at the restaurant the other day and the couple to the side of us we were getting waited on over here and another registers somebody else was getting waited on and they were having a problem because they didn’t have enough money to buy their food and so she was going out to the car trying to find money and coming back and I’ll know we need more and she was going out and I just said how much is it cuz I was thinking is like four or five bucks you know I just pay it how much is it she says it’s $18 it’s like oh yeah I know I was like kind of on the hook at that point so I said I said alright here’s the 20 and so she came back with the change I thought the guy was nice because he said no no you take the change I think yeah it just paid your $20 you know I figured I could get the dollar and a half back but anyway you know I didn’t know this guy from anywhere I just thought here’s an opportunity to bless somebody I’d appreciate viable recently in stamps the people were great they’re First Baptist stamps I couldn’t believe they gave a love offering it was way way more than I deserves way more than I thought it was gonna be and so here’s what i’m i’ve determined to do with the money that comes to me i give 10% to first baptist church Texarkana I give 10% to from his heart ministries and then in this situation I gave 10% to that pastor and his wife to say thanks for having me and I want to bless you in your ministry and I thought I had never thought about doing that before and a friend of mine Harold Oh Chester said that he learned that from our Gigli that our Gigli the great pastor at Bellevue of yesteryear said anytime he would preach at a place he would always tithe to the pastor’s wife because he wanted to be a blessing to her and I thought what a great thing to do and it blessed me to be able to give listen I don’t know what your personality type is but God does and you do and your spouse probably knows more about you than he or she did before but here’s the good news Hebrews 13:5 and six let your character be free from the love of money being content with what you have for he himself has said I will never desert you nor will I ever forsake you and because he said that we may confidently say the Lord is my helper I will not be afraid what shall man do to me hey the Lord wants to help you as it relates to money he wants to help you in your life he’s for you he’s not against you he knows you struggle he knows I struggle he knows we struggle and he says let me help you if you’ll let me I’ll turn things around for you my friend life is hard and you have trouble and I have trouble living it the Lord wants to help us he wants to live it through us listen if you don’t have a personal relationship with Jesus today is the day to nail that down just pray this simple prayer Lord Jesus I need you I know that I’m a sinner and I’m lost and I can’t save myself but I believe you died on the cross for my sins that you rose again from the dead that you are God in the flesh and right now Jesus I ask you to come into my life forgive me of all my sins be my Lord and Savior I surrender my all to you my friend if you’ll pray that kind of prayer and mean it the Lord will come in and your life will never be the same I would love to hear from you to know that you’re watching to know that God is using this broadcast to make a difference in your life to know that you just prayed that prayer to receive Christ as your Savior and Lord please take the time to call that toll-free number write me email me let me know what’s going on and how we can pray for you you really are important to God and you’re important to us and we’re here for you thank you for watching from his heart the viewer supported broadcast ministry of dr. Jeff Shcreve who believes that no matter how badly you may have messed up in life God still loves you and has a wonderful plan for your life you can find out more about that plan go to from his heart dot o RG [Music]